Yesterdays fast paced life, seems so slow compared to the warp speed life I see all around me. The everyday Hussle to never feel ahead in life. Feeling burred in a mountain of debt with a landslide of expectations in the forecast.
How do we all just make it stop? I know you have asked yourself that at least once or twice, or have heard others say it. That’s because wither or not we admit it, we all think it. We all want that peace and stillness in our brain and in our bodies. We think it, but do little to nothing about it.
Generation and generations way before me, have been in what is called “survival mode”. A concept with our heads down going through the motions just to keep up. It’s like swimming in the ocean with no direction of where you are going, how long it will take and with no help.
Most of just are asking “are we there yet?” A moment in time, where someone else says, “yes, you are here” and at that time, we allow ourselves to stop. We look around, confused of how we got here and now that we are here, what are we doing? We now find ourselves in retirement, not knowing whom we are, or what we even want to do with the time, that we never had before but know is all around us.
So, what can we do about it? More than you think. My journey started 10 plus years ago of a what many women at 30 experiences as a midlife crisis. I must have tripped while in my dazed of everyday life and thought “what the hell is this?” I mean, I had it all. Two beautiful daughters that were healthy, I married a great provider. I had a good job, friends, family. A true American dream. What could be so wrong with this life? But I knew there was something more out there. Something was missing.
When you get here and you will, no journey will be the same. Your story will have similar lines, some same situations but unique in what you’re looking for. I could write out my storyline and help you skip to the end, but then it wouldn’t be your life and you need to figure out what pieces are a missing and the only way to figure that out, is doing the work.
What I can tell you is that is all worth it.
From before we were born, we already had a mask fitted for us. The one that our family had picked out. “Oh, she/he is going to be wonderful, smart and bla bla bla.” As the years go on so don’t other layers of masks and costumes to play the part as requested or expected. Years and years of projected drama onto us. But at what point does someone yell “That’s a wrap” the masks come off; the character leaves the stage to resume his or her life. Leaving behind what has been scripted for them to play out.
William Shakespeare said “All the worlds a stage and all the men and women merely players” We truly are just set on a stage and playing out the part. It’s only over the past few months that I can clearly see from the observer lenses and think, “oh, god, he’s right!” There I am on a stage, playing the part that someone else wants me to play. The good daughter, the devoted mother, the attractive and always polite business women and eventually into the sweet old lady with the amazing hat. The seven ages he speaks about play out in all our lives. Patterns that we aren’t quite aware of yet. Yet, as I see it unfold, I slow down my role. I relies, I don’t like acting. It’s exhausting. I don’t want to be famous or ridiculed for not being perfect. In fact, I don’t want any part of it.
I remember over hearing my daughters playing once, Chelle my youngest says “Sara, you go get your class and bring them here, and tell me that you have recess and I need to take them.” Sara the meek complies with an “Okay” Even at such a young age, by someone younger, sara did just as everyone around her. Saying yes to the person beside them just because they said so.
I wish we all could just take a hot second and stop. Look at who is bossing us. The ones that keep telling us we are not good enough, not working hard enough, need to change. Try and keep up. This is the way it goes. That is, what is missing in our lives. Our opinions, our feelings, our thoughts.
The reasons we get out of bed each day should reflect our passions. The things that just make us want to get up and give our best with no expectations. When we get tired, we rest and not feel guilty for doing so. When we set the limits of what we like, how far we are willing to sacrifice a part of us.
I have made some big changes in my life over the past year and the hardest task… not working the entire weekend and just stopping to sit without sleeping. I had trained myself to push every second of the day, because I was sure that my life would fall apart if I didn’t keep going. Maybe it would have, I just don’t know. I didn’t give myself the benefit of the doubt. Now, I just want to let life play out more natural. Pushing that elephant got me nowhere. It’s still in the room for sure, I just let him be like a prop.
What I am figuring out is, that we don’t ask ourselves anything. What we like. Favorite food, music, books, shows. Take the time and evaluate the people that we hang around and if we even like them. Do I like the town I live in? Do I like this weather? Do I like this house? Do I like this job or do I hate it every day? As kids, we are not asked any of these questions, so it’s not hard to see why we feel like something is missing as we get older. What missing are the parts we don’t know about ourselves. What makes us happy are the little things we do each day. We can’t do them if we don’t know what they are.
If you’re looking for a faster route to finding happiness, start asking yourself questions that help you know yourself better. We really don’t know ourselves as well as we think we do.
With knowing yourself better you then can make choices everyday that are in the direction of happiness. If every day, you do things that only make you happy, tell me how your life couldn’t be happy for the future.
Today I’m doing this because it makes me feel this way
Today I’m hanging around this person because they make me feel this
Today I’m trying this because I never have
Today I’m planning a vacation because I want to
Today I’m doing nothing
Today I’m being me
Light Touch Dwellings wants to help people match a lifestyle with a home that works for you. Maybe that looks like matching you with a coach or therapists that helps you find YOU. Maybe it’s matching you with a builder that can build that dream house. Maybe it’s matching you with programs that help you save money. All these little steps help you figure out what you like, how you want your life to play out. What kind of changes in your life would it take for you to exit stage right to the life that you want? Are you ready to take off the masks and costumes and put them away for good?
Check out lighttouchdwellings.com, follow us on FB and Instagram. We would love to show you how to get started.